As some of you know, I have been looking for a hobby recently.
I have managed to find a hobby.
Drum roll please....
This is what the majority of my days for the past few weeks have consisted of.
This,some sleep, and a little food here and there.
I'll throw in a shower on a good day.
It's starting to sink it that I am an adult.
The house we are staying in has been sold, and we need to be out in the next few weeks.
This is definitely a first for me.
Do I know what I'm doing?
Am I stressed, discouraged, and afraid of the unknown?
You see, after thinking about the past years I have lived, it occurred to me that I have been good at something this entire time, but have failed to recognize it as so.
My last year of college (2008 - yes, I am that old.)I ended up having to take a research practicum class in place of this community practicum class which I wanted to take so badly. I blamed the advisor. I was so angry. Everyone avoided this class. Research is hard and boring. This was an entire class dedicated to it.
So I thought.
Surprisingly, through this class, I had found something I was actually good at.
Something I actually enjoyed doing.
Something I thought was interesting.
I made sure to keep these thoughts to myself so that no one would think I was a super nerd.
Anyway, the good thing about this discovery is that, once I figured out I had it, I no longer had issues with research papers. Then I graduated.
Well, this apparent fulfillment I had in doing research came up again.
First in grad school, then my wedding, and now this.
Why am I referring to it as home and not 'apartment' or 'house' hunting?
Because I don't want an apartment or a house.
I desperately want a home.
A stable, not going anywhere for a while, Home Sweet Home.
A place that I can decorate as I please
A place to hang art and photos up wherever I want.
A place I can paint, plant flowers and grow vegetables.
Ok, maybe not the flowers part, but you see where I'm going with this..
We have a limited amount of time to find "the one", and that's just scary.
I broke down today. Actually, I've been doing it a lot lately.
I'm nervous. Worried. Hopeful. Excited. Everything that doesn't mix at once.
There is a wedding here in a few weeks and I so badly wanted my Florida friends to stay with us. As of now, it doesn't look like that's happening.
I have to admit, staying in this house temporarily has been a major blessing.
It is an amazing location and a great place to have called home, even for 5 months.
I have been searching non-stop for a new home and have yet to find it.
Every time I call to make appointments or go to a showing they ask,
Agent:"Where are you staying now?"
Me: "Lincoln Park"
Agent: "Are you sure you want to see this place? Are you at all familiar with the area?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure.."
Needless to say, we are staying in a place that we would never be able to afford if it wasn't for this amazing family who has shared their home with us.
Today I got in touch with a woman who I believe will help us find our new home.
I could end with a
"With God all things are possible" quote, or an
"Everything happens for a reason" cliche saying, or even
"When God guides, God provides",
but I won't.
Not today ;)