Home Confusion

Stacy bought her ticket to come home today.
She will arrive July 7, 2010 at 6:30am.


There's that word again.


What does that mean?

It's interesting because when I talk to people about my ideas of what home is,
there is not much of a difference in opinion.

Apparently, many more people have gone through this 'home confusion' than I expected.

To list a few:
Stacy - when she came 'home' from FSU
Rachel - when she came 'home' from UIC
Jessica - when she came 'home' from SEU
Tusa Wendy - when she went 'home' to Canada after moving to Florida
My mom - when she went back to 'home' to Romania after being in Canada
Ema - when she went back 'home' from Moldova
Lilly - when she came back 'home' from Texas after a whole summer
Becky - when she came back 'home' from TIU

Stacy again - when she comes 'home' from the world race.

It's rough.

I finally know how it feels. It is really an awful feeling.


What's even more frustrating, is when you talk to 'friends' who don't seem to understand. Not even a little. Friends who don't even try to put themselves in your shoes. Not even a little.

When Stacy told me she bought her ticket,
I felt every feeling in my stomach that is possible I think.

I felt as if it was me buying my ticket to go 'home'.

I think it is so important to be there for each other.

God tells us to love Him and love people.

I think this is very much part of what that means.
Be there for those in need.
Even if it isn't a homeless man, or a starving child in Ethiopia.
While they need our help too, people much closer to us than we think need us just as much.

Everyone needs love. You can't be over loved. I think that's awesome.

I love love.

I think part of loving people means being there for them when they need it.
Just like God is there for us when we need it, even in times when we think we can handle life on our own.

I hope to be there for Stacy when she comes 'home'.
I know it's going to be tough. Really tough.
I am positive many tears will be shed.

I am also positive that after some time, things will settle down and feel a little more like 'home'. Whether it is in Florida, or somewhere else. The feeling of belonging somewhere will come again.

I love you, Stacy.

See you soon.


  1. :''''( waaaaaah. I am loving you so much right now. It's going to take me some time to have a "home" again, but I know you'll be there for me to cry and cuss. You're the best. Friend. Love you too

  2. This post is one of my favorites. I totally understand every word. Is it ok to say that I still feel like I have a hard time fitting in at "home"? It's rough and I feel like I'm constantly looking for a change to happen in my life so that I don't feel stagnant again. What you said is complete truth. I hate that you have to go through these feelings, but I am glad that SOMEONE finally understands why I sometimes feel unhappy for no reaosn. LOL. I love you so very much Evie. You are a gem.

  3. My sentiments exactly Evie....HOME...where is that? what constitutes home? An actual house? with a roof? to many people that's what it is. To me...from experience...HOME can be in many places..places you feel safe, loved, wanted, respected...longed after you're gone. I can say I have been blessed to have many "homes" parents place, Esti's place, in the past couple of years Oti and Nina's place...but mostly wherever Marius is, that's MY home...
    However I thinnk we all long for our REAL home...the place where our souls will feel peace..THAT'S where I want to go.